


5 stages of grief

by melodiousoblivion



Category: The 100 (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 19:12:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15177434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodiousoblivion/pseuds/melodiousoblivion
Summary: Clarke moves through the stages of grief after losing Bellamy.





	5 stages of grief

**one: denial**

 

"Clarke, babe, you have to go." Raven's face drifted into her sight line, concern distorting her features. Clarke blinked twice, taking a moment to understand what her friend was saying.

"Why?" She choked out. Raven's face fell even further and she gripped Clarke's hand.

"Babe, he's gone. You have to go home, sitting here won't change anything." 

"He's not gone. Bell wouldn't do that to me. He's not gone." She had been sitting in the hospital waiting room for hours, even after the doctors tried to tell her that Bellamy had died. This was her best friend, the love of her life, and he's not gone.

 

_5 years ago_

_Clarke woke up to a pillow hitting her in the face. When she sat up she saw Octavia looking just as confused as she was. Then their eyes fell on Octavia's older brother, standing in the doorway smirking. Bellamy Blake was stupid hot. As much as Clarke hated him she would also jump him if given the chance._

_"Morning princess. Morning O." His eyes twinkled with barely concealed mirth._

_Upon further inspection, it appeared as though Clarke and Octavia had fallen asleep in Bellamy's shower. What the hell had they gotten into last night? Octavia kicked Clarke out of the bathroom so she could shower and head pounding, Clarke walked to Bellamy's kitchen._

_"Sorry about last night." She offered to Bellamy's back. He shrugged._

_"Nah, it was nothing. Besides you were telling me how much you looooooooved me all night." Bellamy winked over his shoulder while Clarke's neck turned bright red. What the actual fuck did they do last night._

 

**two: anger**

 

Clarke's fists were bright red and torn open one week after Bellamy died. She was at the gym he and Octavia owned, beating the shit out of a punching bag. She smashed plates in the house for a while but then realized that it was a waste of money. So she came to Dropship.

"Ya know you normally wrap your firsts before you start hitting." Clarke didn't even have to turn around to place the voice. She continued hitting.

"Leave me alone, O." She growled. Octavia ignored her, of course, and stood in front of the punching bag.

"Clarkey, this isn't healthy." God, if O knew the half of it. Clarke didn't give a shit about her health, she did give a shit about the baby. Well, Bellamy gave a shit about the baby so she had to give a shit about the baby.

 

_4 years ago_

_Clarke slammed the door to the apartment, boiling mad. Bellamy poked his head out of the kitchen and had to duck when her purse came flying at him._

_"What the fuck princess?"_

_"Where do you get off on telling someone I had a date with to not go out with me?" Bellamy reddened. "Luckily Niylah wasn't a bitch and explained the situation. I liked her, Bell, and you fucked it over!" They were face to face now, Bellamy red with shame, Clarke with anger._

_"Jesus Christ, are you blind? I don't want you to date anyone else!" Clarke took a step back, mind reeling. She floundered, trying to find words but only managing to get lost in Bellamy's eyes. He was staring at her, intense and open._

_Suddenly, his hands were on her hips and his lips were on hers. Clarke was now sitting on the kitchen counter with Bellamy in the cradle of her hips. She grabbed his shirt, trying to bring him closer._

_She was losing herself in him, and she didn't know if she'd ever recover._

 

**three: bargaining**

 

Bellamy would've laughed at her right now. She was kneeling in a pew at the hospital chapel, trying to pray to a god neither of them believed in. She promised that she'd give her life for his, that she'd do anything to have him back. This baby girl needed Bellamy more than she needed Clarke. He would be the best dad. He should've been the best dad.

 

_3 years ago_

_"Chinese?"_

_"No."_

_"Indian?"_

_"No."_

_"Pizza?"_

_"No."_

_"Okay, this is the worst compromise ever. I choose what we eat if you choose where? Why did I ever agree to this."_

_"Because you love me, and you suck at bargaining." Bellamy leaned over and kissed her._

 

**four: depression**

 

She burrowed deeper into the blankets when she heard the apartment door open and close. Three sets of footsteps moved closer to her. They whispered at the door to her bedroom, conferring about their friend. Then, she felt a sudden weight next to her. Octavia, sweet Octavia, had jumped on the bed and was now moving under the covers. On Clarke's other side Monty did the same. Once they were both settled Raven joined the party. They lay there, in a makeshift blanket fort, until it got too hot. 

"Okay, I love you, but you smell. Time to shower." Monty tugged at her arm. Clarke logically knew that she should eat, get out of bed, move, but every part of her body felt like a ton of bricks was on it. 

 

_2 years ago_

_Bellamy walked into the apartment after being gone for two days on a business trip more confused than he'd ever been. The lights were off, dirty dishes piled in the sink, and no sign of Clarke. He walked to their shared bedroom and eyed the pile of blankets._

_"Clarke?" The pile moved slightly and he walked to the bed. Clarke poked her head out, eyes bleary and hair tangled. Bellamy's heart broke. Today was 10 years since her dad died and he knew it would be bad, but not this bad._

_"I'm sorry for leaving you." He whispered to her, climbing into the bed to lay next to her. She curled into him automatically, hand gripping his shirt above his heart._

 

**five: acceptance**

 

Clarke was finally back in the hospital she lost the love of her life in. It took her almost 7 months to return without having panic attacks. Raven was holding one hand, Octavia the other, while Monty stood by her shoulders and gave her ice chips. She was about to have a baby.

It had been hard without Bellamy and it would always be hard without him, but she had another life to think about now. He would've wanted her to continue living, to raise their daughter. 

One last hard push and she was born. Madi Aurora Blake, daughter of Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake, niece of Octavia Blake, god-daughter of Raven Reyes and Monty Green. Loved by her father when she was only a blueberry in her mother's tummy. She was here, breathing new life into the world and into Clarke. 

 

_9 months ago_

_"Shitshitshitshitshitshit," Clarke muttered in the bathroom, pacing as she waited for the test results. Bellamy stood outside the door, pacing as she was. Her phone timer rang and she closed her eyes for a second._

_Pregnant. Two lines._

_"Clarke?" Bellamy cracked the door open and looked at her face nervously. Then he saw the test. His eyes welled up and he smiled. Bellamy hugged Clarke and kissed her head._

_"Oh babe, we'll be okay. We have our baby to think about now."_

_"Bell, you don't have to stay."_

_"Princess, I've loved you since the day I saw you. I'm all in."_


End file.
